You took from him
a daughter
two sons
his vision
and his bed
think of this
today
as you lay him
in his grave.

My beautiful Father died last night
He had been 93 this past August
Very ill for a long time,
He asked my brother to help him stand
When he stood, so frail now
He smiled at James
and in James's arms smiling
died.
I am that I am because of my father
He was the greatest man I ever knew
He was the greatest friend I ever had
Any gifts I may have
It was he who bestowed to me
This blow felt but
I am strong
because of Jacob Cameron Mace b.august 23,1919-d. october 23, 2012
I am strong

As a child
having grown siblings
surrounded by adults
I was born as a deep thinker
Summer time, I ran and jumped
screamed and laughed
with real and adopted cousins
the other seasons , I was extraordinary
empathic and less bold
observing, more reserved, thoughtful
when the Tinsman neighbors youngest
Susie had a painful toothache
a sense of emergency arose
we piled in the car to drive her to the dentist
I lay my head on Idas knee
sobbing, inconsolable
When Ida asked what was my problem?
I replied what was obvious to all i believed
"Susie has a toothache"
I continued that way until the good dentist
helped Susies pain
Life signaled me early on
I was meant for humanitarianism
I have always been the happiest helping others
So much of the world is in serious trouble
chaos, pain, needing reform
even in our own great country
i am constantly inspired
it always begins with us
if you do what you can
and we can
we can raise consciousness
intelligence
hope
inspire
we all need to care more
our family
our community
our country and
the whole planet of people
where despicable injustice occurs daily
polish your hearts
do what you can
lift up another whenever you can
this should be second nature

I

i sweetly remember
how gently you
pulled me in...
i was in fierce waters
forceful waves
encompassing
you felt how
frightened
i had been
you knew me
i remembered
you
all we lost
the beauty we made
all we had been through
the healing nature
of your love...
deep and lofty
sweet and savory
us players
forgivers
dreamers
givers
creators
and prayers
we will be found
again

The news of the abuse of this child was alarming. The lack of human intelligence and compassion seemingly absent from her mother and all others who lived in the same apartment, pitiful. This girl who was kept in a closet, just one third of her body weight, who was made to live locked up, forced to urinate in the closet, lost the will to survive authorities said.
The girl had marks on her back from her mothers beatings. She was beaten when she urinated, her only human contact. After the shock of this news, and when the sadness subsided in my gut, I wondered if this child urinated to receive the beating, human touch, seemingly the only touch she received. Can we survive alone and without touch? Stats say no.

I have weathered the agonizing storm through
its toll on me, serious
i am not the same, no
i walk with less knowledge
pain of all kinds, schhhh...
most do not notice
in my brain, noah and the flood
i would be on the ark
sail forward
less enthusiastic than before the storm
yet forward
they have said i was as a beautiful flower
not the garden variety
extraordinary roots
color
lasting
now needing a lake of water
heavy continuous fertilizing
sunshine as after a spring rain
laughter in my ears and heart
through faith, i have weathered
weathering forward
still
too many others much worse
my greatest joy is in loving and helping others

 it looks as if sissy and I shall move-----again !!!

we are looking for our dream house, a large old one

we have found a few near Richmond, Va., super fixeruppers

i pray that i can endure bravely and that we never run out of money

we will be close proximity to va. beaches, we love the ocean !

we also shall be closer in miles to my daughter Ali and her daughter, my niece Linda

we have access to fine carpenters and masons, we are friends with two contractors

i have renovated six, or was it five historic properties primarily myself with some help

i am resourceful, i am tired that i have undergone a hurtful divorce, devastating chapter thirteen

years now wrestling with a slippery downfall...trying to recover from financial ruin...

as i worked and continued my education and prayed with enormous passionate faith

these events are nearly behind me and i am praying for a full recovery of my being

i am ready for a new begin and sissy needs one too !

pray for us and send them up and out to the conscious universe , God.....thank you

p.s. i shall continue with xagna and painting and writing , working and dancing !!!  

seasoned finally
not the kitten
holding tight to a blade of grass
in a terrible storm
surer footing
amazing
unwavering
faith
happy stirred
joy rising
oh the great sting
lingers yet
of the deep love
and loss
not lost

Awake o north wind;and come thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.